Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Dirty Laundry-take two
I am in the need to show my flaws to myself which means you have the joy of reading it. I am just in a blah mood-maybe the weather, I'm not sure, but I feel the need to make myself realize I am not perfect, I am not supermom-I am in fact flawed. * Note* I know this. I know I am not superwoman but the thing is, sometimes blogging is cathartic and heck it is cheaper than therapy and seeing things in print, getting them out of mind-clearing them out of your mind, makes things better. So....
Dirty Laundry
1.) I loathe laundry. I used to enjoy it but my laundry pile is down right depressing. I wash and I wash and I wash and rarely do I see the bottom of the basket and when I do it is like the highlight of my day and then I turn around and it is full again. I swear the laundry fairies are out to get me.
2.) I am secretly jealous of all of my friend's talents. Heck, not secretly, my friends are seriously crafty and all I can do is use a hot glue gun and sometimes I mess that up.
3.) I am jealous of my crockpot. "Minnie" as I like to call her has won over my husbands heart and belly. If I try to cook anything-major bust but if Minnie cooks it, well you would think it was a culinary genius. So I find myself cooking with Minnie more often and looking for recipes or adapting recipes for her because if I am going to buy the food, then someone needs to eat it and I am not wasting it.
4.) I hate the commerical part of the holidays and the the hustle to fit everyone in, in one month. Now please don't take offense to this if you are apart of anywhere I visit but it is true. I don't mind the get togethers but I am exhausted when it is all over with, my kids are cranky and then before you know it all of the various places you visited have all blurred together and you don't know what is what. Maybe this is why I am starting to feel blah. Usually it doesn't happen until about week two of December but I think about everything we have going on in December and it exhausts me. Not that I don't want to do it, everything we have planned I have agreed to, it's just well, I have taken to calling December the month of CHristmas Chaos. If I don't write it down and make either a mental or a written list then something will be forgotten and I get in a tizzy. I am in a tizzy just thinking about it. I for some reason think I need to be perfect.
5.) I envy working moms. They manage to keep their kids alive, work, and handle other stuff. Take one look at my house and you will realize I have lost my knack of multitasking.
6.) People don't tell you that after twins you are still in hormone overload. Sometimes I think it is worse than when I was pregnant.
7.) Sometimes when I am holding one of the boys and the other starts to cry, I forget I have two and try to console the one I am holding only to realize that baby is fine the other is the one I need to worry about.
8.) I can not be the super involved school mom that my child and myself wants me to be. I have to take what I can get and make the most of it. Just being there makes her happy but there is so much more I wish I could do. I have this image of being Super Room Mom and I do it all. The teacher needs me and she reaches over to the red super room mom phone and I appear instantly., Ok a little far fetched but I do have an image of being able to do it all, effortlessly.
So when I was thinking about all of my dirty laundry, I had a really long list but amazingly after I typed number 1, I started feeling better. I realized that my need to be perfect is my own need. No one else expects that but myself and I don't know why. Maybe I need to do this once a week.
Dirty Laundry
1.) I loathe laundry. I used to enjoy it but my laundry pile is down right depressing. I wash and I wash and I wash and rarely do I see the bottom of the basket and when I do it is like the highlight of my day and then I turn around and it is full again. I swear the laundry fairies are out to get me.
2.) I am secretly jealous of all of my friend's talents. Heck, not secretly, my friends are seriously crafty and all I can do is use a hot glue gun and sometimes I mess that up.
3.) I am jealous of my crockpot. "Minnie" as I like to call her has won over my husbands heart and belly. If I try to cook anything-major bust but if Minnie cooks it, well you would think it was a culinary genius. So I find myself cooking with Minnie more often and looking for recipes or adapting recipes for her because if I am going to buy the food, then someone needs to eat it and I am not wasting it.
4.) I hate the commerical part of the holidays and the the hustle to fit everyone in, in one month. Now please don't take offense to this if you are apart of anywhere I visit but it is true. I don't mind the get togethers but I am exhausted when it is all over with, my kids are cranky and then before you know it all of the various places you visited have all blurred together and you don't know what is what. Maybe this is why I am starting to feel blah. Usually it doesn't happen until about week two of December but I think about everything we have going on in December and it exhausts me. Not that I don't want to do it, everything we have planned I have agreed to, it's just well, I have taken to calling December the month of CHristmas Chaos. If I don't write it down and make either a mental or a written list then something will be forgotten and I get in a tizzy. I am in a tizzy just thinking about it. I for some reason think I need to be perfect.
5.) I envy working moms. They manage to keep their kids alive, work, and handle other stuff. Take one look at my house and you will realize I have lost my knack of multitasking.
6.) People don't tell you that after twins you are still in hormone overload. Sometimes I think it is worse than when I was pregnant.
7.) Sometimes when I am holding one of the boys and the other starts to cry, I forget I have two and try to console the one I am holding only to realize that baby is fine the other is the one I need to worry about.
8.) I can not be the super involved school mom that my child and myself wants me to be. I have to take what I can get and make the most of it. Just being there makes her happy but there is so much more I wish I could do. I have this image of being Super Room Mom and I do it all. The teacher needs me and she reaches over to the red super room mom phone and I appear instantly., Ok a little far fetched but I do have an image of being able to do it all, effortlessly.
So when I was thinking about all of my dirty laundry, I had a really long list but amazingly after I typed number 1, I started feeling better. I realized that my need to be perfect is my own need. No one else expects that but myself and I don't know why. Maybe I need to do this once a week.
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